Can/Do People Change?

I think the question I get asked the most as a counselor is: Can/do people change?
Usually this question is asked about another person - a partner, a child, a colleague, etc.; about someone who is seen as a "problem" in the life of the person asking the question.

The answer to this question is a mixed one.

No, people don't change. We come into the world with a personality that stays with us until we die. If you are a parent with more than one child, you know that from the beginning we have personalities that express themselves in unique ways. These don't change. Our best hope to is become aware of our given personality and learn to ride it rather than allowing it to ride us. This is one of the reasons I am so emphatic that people become aware of the Enneagram and figure out what there Enneagram Personality Type is. If you are interested in pursuing this I recommend two books: "The Enneagram Made Easy" by Made Easy by Wagele and Barron and "The Enneagram In Love and Work" by Helen Palmer. There is even an app you can get for your smart phone called "Know Your Type." Knowing and working with the Enneagram can facilitate your growth in freedom and love. It won't change your personality. It will help you be less reactive.

Yes, people change. Carl Jung believed that symbols, images, stories and rituals contributed to transformation for people. One of my favorite ways to experience this "transformation" is through spiritually literate movies. If you want to have a handy list of such movies click here. This website, Spiritual and Practice, is a wonderful resource. I personally use it on a regular basis and have taken several of their "on line" courses. The list of movies, The 100 Most Spiritually Literate Films, has been a trustworthy guide for me over the past several years. Check it out. You will be glad you did.